Commitment to God and the Prodigal Son (I)
Dearest brothers and sisters,
I would like to share about my reflection on Commitment to God. Last night I tried to reflect on this. And I started to ask my usual questions like why do we have to commit ourselves to God, what is so great about commiting ourselves to God, and etc, etc. I asked so many logical questions and while asking those questions I tried to find passages from the scriptures that could give answers to my questions.
But I heard a voice telling me to stop asking questions and to start looking at my life, to reflect on what is happening in my life. And this is what I would like to share with you.
As I flipped through the scripture pages, I finally stopped at the story of the prodigal son. Well, I said to myself that I knew this story quite well, and so I just scanned the story. I didn't think I could find anything related to commitment to God in this story. It's about sins, conversion, and the loving and forgiving Father, full stop.
But I decided to read again slowly since I learnt to read the scriptures out of love and not just "to know the story". And so I read the story again. You can read it from Luke 15:11-24,31-32.
As I read the story again and tried to reflect on it, I began to forget on my intention to reflect about commitment to God. I started to reflect on my own life. I started to listen what the story means for me.
And as I reflect on it, my mind was drifted back to my past. To the time when I just had an experience of God that changed my life, to the time just after I joined the Life in Spirit Seminar, to the time when I was so close to God, to the time when I felt life is so great even in the midst of difficulties, to the time when I felt the joy of serving God, the time when I felt the joy of giving my life to God.
And then my mind was brought to another time after the previous one. It was the time when I started to get busy with study. It was the time when my prayer time was reduced to study. It was the time when I thought that it's ok since I still went to church every Sunday. It was the time when my prayer time was taken to have a chat with my friends. And my thought said it's ok, since there were many people who were worse than me. It was the time when I was so tired and I made an excuse not to read the bible just for that day. And my thought said many people even didn't read bible at all. It was the time when I served God out of my rutinity. And my thought was saying that it's better rather than not to serve God at all. It was the time when now and then I made excuses for this and that. And it was the time when everything became so dry.
And suddenly I saw the scene of the prodigal son in my mind. The scene when the younger son left the house of the Father. And I saw me, myself, walking away from the house. I saw my self took a little step further away from the house everytime I made an excuse to reduce my prayer life. I saw myself took another little step further when I made an excuse not to read the bible for that day. And I saw there were more steps walking away from the house out from the same reason "only today". I saw myself walking away evertime I compared to the world and I saw myself better. I saw me walking away evertime I decided not serve God. And then I saw that the house could no longer be seen. I have walked far away from the house, from my home. And I saw that "me" felt dry, felt tired, felt empty, felt that life was without purpose.
And then I saw that the younger son, myself, came to his senses. He started to remember the time when he was close to his Father, the time when he was at home, the time when he felt Love, the time when he experienced the Love of the Father, the warm of the family, the joy in giving, the joy in serving the Father.
And that son, myself, remembered the time when I was close to God, the time when I prayed regularly, the time when my prayer life was good, the time when I served the Lord. That son remembered the time when he felt joy in serving God, the joy in seeing other people's life was changed and touched by God through him, the time when he could see the fruit of loving the Lord in service, the time when God was so close, the time when Life was beautiful even in the midst of difficulties. The time when he was at home, when he was at the Father's house, when he was at the Father's arm.
I realized that I was that prodigal son. I was the one who limited my relationship with God, I was the one who little by little walked away from my Father. My father has always been there and He never leaves. It was I who walked away from Him. I thought I would see the world, I thought I had other things to do, many things, and I walked away from my father. He was there, and I walked away.
Next>>
-------- to be continued
I would like to share about my reflection on Commitment to God. Last night I tried to reflect on this. And I started to ask my usual questions like why do we have to commit ourselves to God, what is so great about commiting ourselves to God, and etc, etc. I asked so many logical questions and while asking those questions I tried to find passages from the scriptures that could give answers to my questions.
But I heard a voice telling me to stop asking questions and to start looking at my life, to reflect on what is happening in my life. And this is what I would like to share with you.
As I flipped through the scripture pages, I finally stopped at the story of the prodigal son. Well, I said to myself that I knew this story quite well, and so I just scanned the story. I didn't think I could find anything related to commitment to God in this story. It's about sins, conversion, and the loving and forgiving Father, full stop.
But I decided to read again slowly since I learnt to read the scriptures out of love and not just "to know the story". And so I read the story again. You can read it from Luke 15:11-24,31-32.
As I read the story again and tried to reflect on it, I began to forget on my intention to reflect about commitment to God. I started to reflect on my own life. I started to listen what the story means for me.
And as I reflect on it, my mind was drifted back to my past. To the time when I just had an experience of God that changed my life, to the time just after I joined the Life in Spirit Seminar, to the time when I was so close to God, to the time when I felt life is so great even in the midst of difficulties, to the time when I felt the joy of serving God, the time when I felt the joy of giving my life to God.
And then my mind was brought to another time after the previous one. It was the time when I started to get busy with study. It was the time when my prayer time was reduced to study. It was the time when I thought that it's ok since I still went to church every Sunday. It was the time when my prayer time was taken to have a chat with my friends. And my thought said it's ok, since there were many people who were worse than me. It was the time when I was so tired and I made an excuse not to read the bible just for that day. And my thought said many people even didn't read bible at all. It was the time when I served God out of my rutinity. And my thought was saying that it's better rather than not to serve God at all. It was the time when now and then I made excuses for this and that. And it was the time when everything became so dry.
And suddenly I saw the scene of the prodigal son in my mind. The scene when the younger son left the house of the Father. And I saw me, myself, walking away from the house. I saw my self took a little step further away from the house everytime I made an excuse to reduce my prayer life. I saw myself took another little step further when I made an excuse not to read the bible for that day. And I saw there were more steps walking away from the house out from the same reason "only today". I saw myself walking away evertime I compared to the world and I saw myself better. I saw me walking away evertime I decided not serve God. And then I saw that the house could no longer be seen. I have walked far away from the house, from my home. And I saw that "me" felt dry, felt tired, felt empty, felt that life was without purpose.
And then I saw that the younger son, myself, came to his senses. He started to remember the time when he was close to his Father, the time when he was at home, the time when he felt Love, the time when he experienced the Love of the Father, the warm of the family, the joy in giving, the joy in serving the Father.
And that son, myself, remembered the time when I was close to God, the time when I prayed regularly, the time when my prayer life was good, the time when I served the Lord. That son remembered the time when he felt joy in serving God, the joy in seeing other people's life was changed and touched by God through him, the time when he could see the fruit of loving the Lord in service, the time when God was so close, the time when Life was beautiful even in the midst of difficulties. The time when he was at home, when he was at the Father's house, when he was at the Father's arm.
I realized that I was that prodigal son. I was the one who limited my relationship with God, I was the one who little by little walked away from my Father. My father has always been there and He never leaves. It was I who walked away from Him. I thought I would see the world, I thought I had other things to do, many things, and I walked away from my father. He was there, and I walked away.
Next>>
-------- to be continued
posted by Oka | 7:34 pm
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